Nerves

I am afraid.

 Monday night I went into the ER. I was having pretty intense stomach pain, and couldn't eat. I waited in the waiting room from 2:30pm, until around 7:30, and then was given a CT Scan, and was told around 10:45 that I had a cyst on my right ovary. We were relieved because they were originally thinking that I had appendicitis. 

Now, I am supposed to rest at home, and follow up with my GYN. They say they've faxed the results to my doctor, but the doctor says they haven't received them. No one is helping, and I feel worried.

I want to lay on the couch all day, and pretend like its not happening. I don't even know if its bad, because no one has told me anything.

I want someone to take care of me.

Learning to Love

My idea for this is similar to how I wanted my LJ to be back in the day. Except not really, because I used to crave other people's interest in my life. Now, my life is less interesting than it used to be (there is always food on my table, so to speak, and money in our pockets) but I find myself with more time to think about who I was, who I am, and who I would like to be. So even if this ends up being a completely one-sided (human-wise) conversation, or my prayers to Him who saved me when I deserved it the least, let it be. It may also end up as a scrapbook of sorts, a way for me to look back and remember, or to vent when I am feeling neglected or put down, and a way for me to see God's hands in my life.